it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
