We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
