So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
