You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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