I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I want to walk on stilts...naked
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
