hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
