I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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