He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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