he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
