Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you inspire me to be a worse person
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
