I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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