very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
