Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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