yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
