i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
