i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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