Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
