Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
