well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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