Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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