First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
