ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize