and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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