tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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