official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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