I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
