Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
