So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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