That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
