If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
