No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
