like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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