maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
