The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
