So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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