She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
