I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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