I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
