so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So many bounce houses so little time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
