so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
