We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
