Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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