On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All I want is dick and wine.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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