Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
