if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
