she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
