I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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