Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize