this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
