Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im six kinds of drunk right now
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Randomize
