Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
