A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
