We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
