you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
