We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
