I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
last night I used snow as a chaser
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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