just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
