Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
