so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
