Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
